by John Cheese
April 20 - May 20
Born under the sign
of the seventh moon of Squancho Booyahnium, the Taurus are often mistaken
for their cousins, the children of the Gargaganos Floptitilus, better
known as the Libra. The generally overlooked distinction, though, is the
Taurus' extra armpit, located on the side of the neck. Less noticeable,
but still a major distinction, is the Taurus' ability to smell mathematical
formulas and taste sleep.
It has been said by
wise men of old that if the spirit of the Taurus were made of chocolate
coins, then there would have been no need to scorch the hat of the chosen
wanderer. They are simply that powerful.
Your Future!
Your future is a vast and open sea. A sea filled with turtles of shelled
enlightenment and squid of tentacled wisdom. Your teachings will fall
from your body like the ripe fruit of the meat tree, to be ingested
and digested by the eager youth of your flopping moose. But be careful
how you wield your whop hammer. One misplaced word could fry the bacon
of ever-flowing chunk knuckle.
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