October 23 - November 21

Students of drama and band, the average Scorpio aspires to be a famous Broadway performer or member of a successful vocal jazz quartet. Most can name six or seven of these glory stories off the top of their heads. Those who can't, eventually give up and become an Aries.

One Friday each month, all Scorpios gather for a non-alcoholic pizza party, where they rave about current plays and perform impromptu scat for each other. Most Scorpios graduate college and fail at life, taking on a new career as a high school band teacher or guidance counselor.

All Scorpios are afraid of money.