Does she have a creative side?

If you said "no" then you need to reconsider your place as a human and accept your divorce without complaint. All people have a creative side, even if that side is talentless and somewhat embarrassing. It's part of what keeps us from becoming one of a billion bodies in an ongoing meat assembly line. It's what separates us from the routine. It's what defines us as humans. Even if we suck at it.

Before you ever entered the picture, she relied on that creative side to fuel her otherwise mundane life. Hell, even some strippers claim to do it for the "art and expression." No, she has a creative side, and you'd better damn well know what it is and support it.

The problem with that

If you're anything like me, then you know how hard it is to give positive feedback when you don't really mean it. I have always sucked at that, and I probably always will. My best friend is the same way. When he can't think of anything nice to say about someone's creative effort, he just stands there in cold, dead silence until he pees himself or the other person runs away in tears. If she's good at her hobbies, then this won't be a problem, but in my experience, most people aren't.

But Mack...

"If she's showing me a poem she wrote, and she's asking for constructive criticism, shouldn't I do the honest thing and give that to her?" Absolutely not. Under no circumstances are you to ever be honest about how you really feel about her writing, drawings, paintings, or interpretive dance. In most cases, she has worked incredibly hard on those pieces of art, and in her mind, there is no more room for improvement. So when she shows you something she's written or something she's drawn, she's not asking, "How do I make this better?" She's asking, "Can you please tell me this is awesome?" Tell her it's awesome.

"Man, you know I don't like that artsy bullshit. There's no way I can pretend to like it." You know what? There's a very good possibility that she doesn't like giving oral sex or receiving anal. However, it doesn't prevent you from trying, does it? I know what some of you are saying. "My girlfriend/wife loves giving oral sex. She even told me she does." She's saying to you what you need to be saying to her, where her creative side is concerned. You'd better start getting used to it right now because it will be your downfall later. Right now, her poems are oral sex. You don't want to see what her version of anal is.

"What if I have absolutely nothing positive to say whatsoever?" Then you need to learn how to pretend. Remember, it's not all about compliment fishing with her. Yes, she's looking for that approval, but she's also looking for support. You could easily get away with something like, "I do like the writing. I've just had a rough day today, and it's hard for me to connect to emotional work like this in my current mood. Can I read it again later?" That last question is important. Not only does it tell her that you are looking forward to reading her work again, but it buys you enough time to come up with something believable to say when you do get around to grinding through that shitstorm of sub-mediocrity. It's never about honesty. It's about support.

The solution

If you see her working on something, ask her about it. "Hey, hon, what are you working on? A poem? Oh, awesome. Can I read it, or would you rather me stay out of your way until you're finished?" Remember that the words she's putting on paper do mean something to her. So when you do force yourself through line after line of earthly hell, try to pick up on what she's actually trying to say. If she's writing about receiving flowers or dancing on the beach, you'd damn well better have a coastal vacation planned and a good florist close by. If she's writing about lost love and childhood regrets, you should probably get a counselor and a lawyer on speed-dial.

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