by John Cheese
#10: James Blunt
So this guy has one song out, and the critics are already salivating at the thought of giving him an all-day rimjob. Who the fuck told this talentless hack he had any business being in the music industry at all? Whose cousin's dick did he suck to get a record deal?
I almost didn't put him on the list because he's not built up a solid list of singles yet, but if the radio stations are going to cram this annoying, droning sack of shit down my throat five or six times a day, then I at least want a chance to fire back. Radio stations, please take notice:
Nobody. Likes. James. Blunt.
Nobody.
His voice is annoying. His look is contrived. His lyrics are dull and meaningless. The video makes anyone who sees it immediately punch the person next to them in sheer frustration for what the music industry has become. If it was announced on the news tomorrow that the cause of all wars throughout human history was James Blunt, the world would shrug in unison and say, "Eh, that sounds about right."
Actual lyrics that critics are praising from James Blunt's "You're Beautiful":
“You're beautiful
It's true
I saw your face
In a crowded place
and I don't know what to do
cause I will never be with you”
Writing those lyrics was the most creative 22 seconds of Blunt's existence.
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